Found My Optimal Dose
After two years taking Dronabinol, I have found my life has gone from slowly dying from starvation every day. To a life of 18 hours of not feeling nauseated, or suicidal pain.. with just six hours a day of suffering.
Through this period of relief followed by suffering.. then relief again on a 24 hour cycle, my personality split in two. I became ‘Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde’ except that I was the good guy covered in hair.
The drug made me pleasant and kind and thoughtful and happy and optimistic through the day. But in the dead of night at the end of 18 hours, in such extreme agony..I became the bad guy. I wanted to end it all..every night. The sound of the traffic on the main road nearby became increasingly tempting.
The one thing that kept me in this prison of misery, was the snores of my husband and the warmth of my cats sleeping next to my body.
It has been almost a week since my visit to my Internist. He is cross – trained in Psychiatry. This is a good thing because if there is anything that can send a person crazy, it is a missed diagnosis leading to metastatic breast cancer, and the subsequent effects of the treatment to cure that cancer.
So it is with great relief that I update my Blog with the news that I am now prescribed my optimal dose of this drug which is 2.5 mgs more per day. After almost two and a half years of taking the lower dose that I stubbornly did not want to change for fear of possibility of it interacting with my heart failure status, I finally gave in to reason.
I am tolerating the increased dose with no side effects. My life is transformed into 24/7 relief. No more early morning suffering and suicidal thoughts. I am sleeping and dreaming every night from 11 pm until my 6 am dose. I feel refreshed when I awake.
It is so good to enjoy my hour of grooming before I go downstairs. My body is pampered with a layer of coconut oil and a spritz of my perfume for the day. My closet invites me to enjoy the pleasures of its selection. I love dressing and preparing myself for the day.
While I dress, Larry feeds the kitties and gives them their morning cuddles. Then he dresses and tidies up and the kitties join me to watch me go through the process of dressing.
We descend the stairs together..just in case I slip and fall and we turn on the lamps downstairs, open the shades, feed the birds and squirrels, and take a walk around the garden.
When we return to the kitchen we begin our breakfast preparation. A freshly cut orange arranged on a fruit plate, along with kiwi, pomegranate, pear, papaya, and grapes.We fill a bowl with tomato, romaine lettuce, red onion, green onion, green pepper, olives, artichokes, and capers and add it to the banquet. Then we prepare the oatmeal with dates, figs, raisins and peanuts, all chopped up in the food processor. Finally I heat the kettle, and my special teapot with hot water, make my tea as Larry prepares his coffee. Finally an hour later, we sit and enjoy our breakfast and another hour of our life passes.
This is the quality of my life without metastatic cancer or the effects of the treatment it took to cure me. I have found the ideal dose of Synthetic THC to make my life meaningful again.https://photos.google.com/album/AF1QipN7bVhAHlcBj0sqU6Dcu9oXRgZ5RbTcQ1W7lHTg